sweet nothings

24th, our 26th month as a couple, we decided to take a trip to tagaytay. hehe ike who lived in baguio for almost his entire life havent seen the beauty of tagaytay yet :P we headed to Leslie's and enjoyed our afternoon there with their famous bulalo :)) simple joys...

26th of oct around 8pm, i received a call from dr fernandez....the first time i picked up it was choppy, he called again. "leiza pwede ka na ba pumasok sa november 2? me: ahhh yes doc...."tanggap na kayong tatlo" ok this was least expected. i actually took it as negative when he texted about the delay of results. i already asked for a sched this november at biomedics. but then, maybe this is God's will. everything that has happened was part of a bigger plan. im happy, and at the same time i feel at a lost and anxious. ill take it from ike, just live it one day at a time. i wish everything will just be fine. bahala na :D to God be the Glory. this is for my family :))

im back from my last week's drama. God is super good! i only asked for at least 4 reliever status and yet he gave me more than double. just when i expected it least i was given work while waiting for residency result. :)) really hopeful to have the results this week. it's really easier when you earn and preoccupied by a busy day. no time for drama. in fact i am enjoying and considering doing this for a longer time. at least if ever i wouldnt be accepted i have a job waiting for me :)) no unproductive gaps...nways looking forward to seeing ike today. Good Monday and Good Morning!!! Life is fun :))

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received an sms earlier today regarding my application status..."doctors good day. we will have to delay our final decision for our 1st year residents. we will make our decision by the last week of october and inform you asap. sorry for the delay" at first my innocent mind said oh ok so wishful thinking and patience then. but when i talked to ike, i started to think the other way...what if there's something else. 3 slots, for 3 applicants, what other cause might be there. why will it take that long before they could finally decide?  what if they dont feel like having us. another thing popped in my mind, i shouldnt have let go of the other opportunities. but who could have told me ayt? everything ran for almost same schedules. i regret not continuing my preres to that other hospital who contacted me again last week. and now i dont have the guts to contact them to ask again for another chance, since they have been too kind to have offered that to me already....moving on, i

finally nakakaramdam na ako ng gutom! ive been anxious since last night. good thing ike rehearsed me for today's final interview. it went on for around 10 minutes. and then that's it. i think i was able to answer fast, everything was from the heart, not the chaka miss universe answers. the questions were not so pressing, nor not provocative for me to answer plastic answers. i think it really works to just be yourself. in that way, everything will be superfluous. ive been palpitating since i took a cup of coffee this morning, and ive been cursing it, but eventually i realized it helped me in becoming attentive and alert during the Q and A :) again, i feel nothing. i expect none. whatever the result will be i think i did my best :) God will give me the answer soon. im ready for whatever outcome to unfold. :P

tomorrow is my final interview. done with the two weeks of observation period. of course the usual, not everyone there seems nice. but i guess wherever i go, jerks are along the way. maybe the only difference is how subtle other jerks could be. again, i am plainly emotionless. i don't want to anticipate anything. no expectations, no whatever. like ike said, this is a roadless map... the past days i took the chance to rest. i started on thinking about future plans, but then, what works for me is living for today. plans are good, but i don't want to keep on dwelling on the future. sudden unexpected changes may ruin it anyways. I'll let God this time. just keeping the faith going :) Uberrimei fidei Of the utmost good faith

This entire application process is really tedious. I thought that being called for preres is good enough. Well of course it's just the beginning. Im just exagerrating when i say tired. Actually this observation period is way benign than u could imagine. Post-boards syndrome. Someone i know quitted after one duty (observership). Maybe i feel the same thing. I want a longer break. I want my free time, no responsibilities, no schedule to follow. Maybe i just enjoyed the relief of finishing the entire trail to becoming a doctor that i wanna enjoy it longer. Haist im still praying. Im so lucky actually that some would want to be in my position. But then sometimes following your heart could lead to better results. im still confused.