for the past years, i have always been organized...i always plan ahead of time. i know what i want to do and i see to it that my plans would reach reality...not until after passing the boards. although i know what path to take, still there is no certainty in this competitive and hierarchic world of MDs. not that i am not confident of my ability. i have set a good academic record and board rating. i came from one of the top medical schools in the country, but still, I am afraid...afraid of not knowing what's in store for me. Afraid of becoming in a strange place, with strange people, and some strange areas of study, but without other choice but to do good because this will determine my life long career as a doctor...Only God knows...at this point, my mind cannot project the picture of tomorrow, as how i have always done in the past....I put my faith in Him for God has the best plans for me...Amen
This entire application process is really tedious. I thought that being called for preres is good enough. Well of course it's just the beginning. Im just exagerrating when i say tired. Actually this observation period is way benign than u could imagine. Post-boards syndrome. Someone i know quitted after one duty (observership). Maybe i feel the same thing. I want a longer break. I want my free time, no responsibilities, no schedule to follow. Maybe i just enjoyed the relief of finishing the entire trail to becoming a doctor that i wanna enjoy it longer. Haist im still praying. Im so lucky actually that some would want to be in my position. But then sometimes following your heart could lead to better results. im still confused.
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