the past days were on and off struggle to let go...well as expected, its not that easy...it doesnt happen overnight. every morning as i wake up, i pray that i will stop calling, that i will stop texting...owell i just miss him. but still, i am determined to end it up...i know its gonna happen, though it might take some time, but I WILL DO IT. expectations...this put everything into tangled complications, but really as i came to think of it, its as simple as "i expected a lot, held on for too long, given out too much" that's why in the end, i was badly hurt. that's why i dont put all the blame on him, for in the first place, he never promised anything to me...i am the one to blame, because i let him do so. i did not protect myself as how i was warned beforehand. bad addiction to sum it up. i believe i just took the risk because of the hope that MAYBE, something good will happen. no one knows what's next, but my faith will lead me to the right person, i know God has a big plan, a beautiful one...i may have played a role in his life in a way only God knows and likewise he also has a purpose in my life...i love him, i am certain of that, maybe only time can mend what's broken and answer all the questions and give clarity to all of these. i guess this is where patience is much more needed. next time, i will let love find me...
im still guilty of being mad. i dont know. pero cguro nga dahil may sumthing p ko sa mokong na un. nagagalit ako. at the same time naiisip ko p rin ung lahat ng nangyari. marami p ring tanong sa isip ko kung bakit nangyari lahat ng to. at ngaun kahit mahigit isang taon na parang pakiramdam ko kelan lng un. pero ang laki n ng pinagbago ng lahat...lalo na siya. lalo na sila...naiinis akong isipin na ako nagkakaganito pero siya ano balewala lahat. worse, mukhang masaya na siya. nakakagalit na ako hindi p rin totally ok....ano ba diba. hanggang kelan ko mararamdaman to. pero sa kabila nun palagi ko p rin siyang naiisip. isang malaking kahibangan. galit ako. nasasaktan ako.
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