today is the offical start of the so far first vacation we have for this school year. whew! it was almost perfect but then for the nth time it was ruined by errr only i would know.... i just figured out, no matter how much you give for one person it doesnt always mean getting back the same...or worse even getting the opposite of what ur giving. ahhh life sucks (at that certain area of my life) nothing is perfect...i got hurt, if frustrates me, it gets me furious and at the same time makes me realize what i should have realized early on. owell, i wallowed over this, at least to get desensitized, i dont wanna dwell on the thought further and make things harder for me. i just wish i could stand still with this decision of just disappearing...ITS NOT WORTH IT, REALLY... i figured, no matter how long, how much, all positive driving factors a person could give, if its one way, there's not even a speck of possibility that it would flourish, or climb up at that level you've been yearning to reach. argh...i am pissed, and more than that, i feel disrespectful towards him...MORON, MORON, MORON....im not good enough for him no matter what i do, on the other hand, i realized, if im not good, then he's even less of what's worse. I know God will take care of this very well...i just dont wanna entertain the bad thoughts and pain it gives me, not anymore, i had enough...
ok isa isahin ang issues. una sa lahat...third year na ko! yey....nagbunga din ang pagttiyaga ko. well may isa pa kong inaaspire bukod jan...oh well wag n muna yun. bakasyon na, oh yes panahon upang magsaya, eh peste peste talaga....asan ang happenings! grrrrrrr im so pissed dahil bakit parang hindi itinadhana na magliwaliw ako grrrrrrrrrr..... well hopefully pagkatapos ng grad ng kapatid ko e makapaglamyerda din ako...shit im so bored sobra talaga. parang mababaliw. i just hate empty vacations! dahil hindi ako sanay ng ganito... ang daming iniisip dami kong inaalala...personal stuff...kaliwa't kanan na nakakainis n bagay! GRRRRRRRRRRR punyeta pa isa pa ung lecheng lalake na yun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANG DRAWING DRAWING NIYA!....BAKIT BA LAHAT GANUN HA?!!!! I HATE THIS DAY I HATE THIS WEEK. AT SANA NAMAN MAY MAGANDA NG MANGYARI BEFORE I RUN OUT OF SANITY!
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