its a "merry" christmas. i had so much for this day, so much heartache. it was like all the pain and frustrations were showered upon me at once. i was able to handle it, but im still sort of in shock. i dont know if this feeling, though familiar, is simply a clone of how i felt years back, but just the same, it striked me hard. attachment, this has been my waterloo, a trap equipped with blades that could crush me anytime, that the more i struggle to escape, the harder it would stab. its indeed painful, im overwhelmed by all the things thrown upon me, and honestly i do not know how to handle, or maybe im too apprehensive to handle each that it seems impossible if i will be able to do so. bottomline: another phase of moving on, a different starting point. i thought through the years and kinds of relationships ive been into, this one is easier, no tangible attachment, no big deal, but i was reminded, that i have the same heart, that same heart broken many times before, that same heart with the same capacity to love but deteriorating as it becomes wounded many times...for sure ill be missing him, and as a rule, expecting is most of all prohibited. i just wish him well, though i know anger must be the rule here, i just can't...i really can't.
amf, di ko talaga akalaing magiging kontrobersyal ang kapaskuhan ko! boylets go away! kayo ang gumugulo sa buhay ko! bwahahaha ngarag na ngarag na nga ako sa sobrang daming party at talagang im so broke sa mga panahong to, dagdag pa sa eksena ang mga lalakeng ito! ano ber ano ber ano ber! tama na pagiging mga ekchosero nio, enough na ang mga kemerkemerlu! kasi memorize ko na yan pramis. ang akin lang naman, kung sasaktan lang ako chupi at sumakay n lng sa chubibo, kayong dalawa magbilugan ng ulo....stressed na ko i swear. nananahimik ako dito tapos lapit lapit para lang bulabugin ang diyosang natutulog sa mt. olympus! you've done enough pain....tama na yun. hindi ako nababagay sa mga tagalupang kagaya nio. grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! panira talaga ng pasko oh!
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