its a "merry" christmas. i had so much for this day, so much heartache. it was like all the pain and frustrations were showered upon me at once. i was able to handle it, but im still sort of in shock. i dont know if this feeling, though familiar, is simply a clone of how i felt years back, but just the same, it striked me hard. attachment, this has been my waterloo, a trap equipped with blades that could crush me anytime, that the more i struggle to escape, the harder it would stab. its indeed painful, im overwhelmed by all the things thrown upon me, and honestly i do not know how to handle, or maybe im too apprehensive to handle each that it seems impossible if i will be able to do so. bottomline: another phase of moving on, a different starting point. i thought through the years and kinds of relationships ive been into, this one is easier, no tangible attachment, no big deal, but i was reminded, that i have the same heart, that same heart broken many times before, that same heart with the same capacity to love but deteriorating as it becomes wounded many times...for sure ill be missing him, and as a rule, expecting is most of all prohibited. i just wish him well, though i know anger must be the rule here, i just can't...i really can't.
being a big make-up fan, organizing my kikay kit has always been a task...papalit palit kc ako. most of the time i bring big clutch bags to fit in my "koloretes". ang arte talaga hahaha. tuloy i end up also bringing big bags where these clutches would fit in----bag within a bag. pero na-realize ko even when i go to school, ang laki ng dala ko pero majority lng dito pampaarte. ewan ko b naman toxic talaga ako, its like im gonna die if i wouldnt bring my talc in a tall canister and my body splash plus my kikay kit. so ano nga ba ang laman ng mahiwagang kikay kit na ito...the thing why its getting heavy is that i bring things in doubles...2 shades for each hahaha siguro dala na rin ng pagiging fickle-minded ko. pero dahil s katoxican hindi ko rin naman actually nagagamit talaga. kaya nga lately talagang pinapractice ko ang NO TO BIG BAG PROJECT lol. i started unloading the doubles at gawin n lng tig-isa...i even settled for a flip phone at iwanan n muna sa bahay ang bulky pda...
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