last night, it was full of tears. i really wanted to let it all out. i will surely miss him. i know ill get through this. this morning as i woke up, things are starting to sink in, no reason at all to greet him good morning, its about time to change the routine, no more gudnyts, no more whining and texting, no one to tell my angst, no more destressor, no one to look forward to talk to as i go home in the afternoon. everything will change, these are the reasons why i do cry a lot...i myself did not notice that that ive been clinging on him this tight already, i thought then as i was telling everyone else that he's no one, just the casual person i am fond of talking to, nothing special, but deep inside, i knew even before that i was just saying this out of shame that despite keeping up a special bond with this person, i am nevertheless, a non-significant person to him. now i let him go, i want him to grow, to realize his faults, and most of all learn to appreciate the people around him, those loving him unconditionally. i dont wanna sound heroic, a martyr, but in all honesty i really cannot feel any sort of anger, just plain sadness and longing, its all about yearning to have him completely, but i guess that won't happen. maybe this is again another story that i have no choice but end up simply because i do not have a choice. ill miss him more...
being a big make-up fan, organizing my kikay kit has always been a task...papalit palit kc ako. most of the time i bring big clutch bags to fit in my "koloretes". ang arte talaga hahaha. tuloy i end up also bringing big bags where these clutches would fit in----bag within a bag. pero na-realize ko even when i go to school, ang laki ng dala ko pero majority lng dito pampaarte. ewan ko b naman toxic talaga ako, its like im gonna die if i wouldnt bring my talc in a tall canister and my body splash plus my kikay kit. so ano nga ba ang laman ng mahiwagang kikay kit na ito...the thing why its getting heavy is that i bring things in doubles...2 shades for each hahaha siguro dala na rin ng pagiging fickle-minded ko. pero dahil s katoxican hindi ko rin naman actually nagagamit talaga. kaya nga lately talagang pinapractice ko ang NO TO BIG BAG PROJECT lol. i started unloading the doubles at gawin n lng tig-isa...i even settled for a flip phone at iwanan n muna sa bahay ang bulky pda...
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