This entire application process is really tedious. I thought that being called for preres is good enough. Well of course it's just the beginning. Im just exagerrating when i say tired. Actually this observation period is way benign than u could imagine. Post-boards syndrome. Someone i know quitted after one duty (observership). Maybe i feel the same thing. I want a longer break. I want my free time, no responsibilities, no schedule to follow. Maybe i just enjoyed the relief of finishing the entire trail to becoming a doctor that i wanna enjoy it longer. Haist im still praying. Im so lucky actually that some would want to be in my position. But then sometimes following your heart could lead to better results. im still confused.
me and jp went out this evening. really had much fun spending few hours with him. yeah only few *sob* i asked for signs, but it seems that it all leads me to the exact opposite of how i was expecting things to happen. for whatever reason, it still puzzles me, why in all people in the www its him i will meet. and i really do not know where this would lead. all i know is that as of this moment, i am already in the stage of attachment towards him. the only wish i have is for this to flourish. or if not up to the next level, at least to keep him. just have him around. i dont wanna rush on things ryt now. but all i know is that i am moving on to another phase of my life. i am now ready to let go of my past and be with someone else....
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