This entire application process is really tedious. I thought that being called for preres is good enough. Well of course it's just the beginning. Im just exagerrating when i say tired. Actually this observation period is way benign than u could imagine. Post-boards syndrome. Someone i know quitted after one duty (observership). Maybe i feel the same thing. I want a longer break. I want my free time, no responsibilities, no schedule to follow. Maybe i just enjoyed the relief of finishing the entire trail to becoming a doctor that i wanna enjoy it longer. Haist im still praying. Im so lucky actually that some would want to be in my position. But then sometimes following your heart could lead to better results. im still confused.
im still guilty of being mad. i dont know. pero cguro nga dahil may sumthing p ko sa mokong na un. nagagalit ako. at the same time naiisip ko p rin ung lahat ng nangyari. marami p ring tanong sa isip ko kung bakit nangyari lahat ng to. at ngaun kahit mahigit isang taon na parang pakiramdam ko kelan lng un. pero ang laki n ng pinagbago ng lahat...lalo na siya. lalo na sila...naiinis akong isipin na ako nagkakaganito pero siya ano balewala lahat. worse, mukhang masaya na siya. nakakagalit na ako hindi p rin totally ok....ano ba diba. hanggang kelan ko mararamdaman to. pero sa kabila nun palagi ko p rin siyang naiisip. isang malaking kahibangan. galit ako. nasasaktan ako.
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