received an sms earlier today regarding my application status..."doctors good day. we will have to delay our final decision for our 1st year residents. we will make our decision by the last week of october and inform you asap. sorry for the delay" at first my innocent mind said oh ok so wishful thinking and patience then. but when i talked to ike, i started to think the other way...what if there's something else. 3 slots, for 3 applicants, what other cause might be there. why will it take that long before they could finally decide? what if they dont feel like having us. another thing popped in my mind, i shouldnt have let go of the other opportunities. but who could have told me ayt? everything ran for almost same schedules. i regret not continuing my preres to that other hospital who contacted me again last week. and now i dont have the guts to contact them to ask again for another chance, since they have been too kind to have offered that to me already....moving on, i must find a way. if not soon then maybe next year...im just starting to prepare myself for whatever worse thing that could happen. haist....life was easier then. my only wish right now is to have a work for the next two weeks, or better if more than that.
im still guilty of being mad. i dont know. pero cguro nga dahil may sumthing p ko sa mokong na un. nagagalit ako. at the same time naiisip ko p rin ung lahat ng nangyari. marami p ring tanong sa isip ko kung bakit nangyari lahat ng to. at ngaun kahit mahigit isang taon na parang pakiramdam ko kelan lng un. pero ang laki n ng pinagbago ng lahat...lalo na siya. lalo na sila...naiinis akong isipin na ako nagkakaganito pero siya ano balewala lahat. worse, mukhang masaya na siya. nakakagalit na ako hindi p rin totally ok....ano ba diba. hanggang kelan ko mararamdaman to. pero sa kabila nun palagi ko p rin siyang naiisip. isang malaking kahibangan. galit ako. nasasaktan ako.
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