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suspense

received an sms earlier today regarding my application status..."doctors good day. we will have to delay our final decision for our 1st year residents. we will make our decision by the last week of october and inform you asap. sorry for the delay" at first my innocent mind said oh ok so wishful thinking and patience then. but when i talked to ike, i started to think the other way...what if there's something else. 3 slots, for 3 applicants, what other cause might be there. why will it take that long before they could finally decide?  what if they dont feel like having us. another thing popped in my mind, i shouldnt have let go of the other opportunities. but who could have told me ayt? everything ran for almost same schedules. i regret not continuing my preres to that other hospital who contacted me again last week. and now i dont have the guts to contact them to ask again for another chance, since they have been too kind to have offered that to me already....moving on, i must find a way. if not soon then maybe next year...im just starting to prepare myself for whatever worse thing that could happen. haist....life was easier then. my only wish right now is to have a work for the next two weeks, or better if more than that.

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Im missing lots of people. Well i realized ive been too busy that i am missing much in life. I miss d good old days wen life for me was a lot lighter. Wen i dont have to think much and despite being busy, still being able to squeeze in other activities. Its a lot different now. As much as i want to spend some time to escape from the pressures of med world, time wouldnt really permit. I miss d easy life, the genuine laughs and crazy old days of hanging out and not thinking about tomorrow. It pains me coz as time passes by, people around me narrows down. Most already had a big difference in their lives. Oh well i chose the tedious path. And oftentimes its only by prayer and faith that i do to surpass all these. I hope this would end soon. I really wish God would send me an angel to make life a bit easier and happier dan now. I wanna end d misery. The misery of clinging on to a wrong person. The pain of expectations. It makes the load heavier. Maybe its my turn to be happy.