today i stumbled into several stuff that reminds me of you. i trembled seeing our smiles on a photo taken more than a year ago. reading your letters gave me a familiar feeling almost exactly the way i felt the first time i read it.
but at the back of my mind, i was telling myself these were all lies. all were fantasies being dreamt by a teenage girl who was never hurt and never felt being left behind. i know for a fact i was crazy then. im not even sure if there were regrets. but whenever i refresh those sweet moments i had with you my heart felt coldness...longing for you and wondering will there still be a chance to have you close to me once more.
madness, it is...that i am completely aware of. but through the years i have tried to push you away from my mind heart and my mind...the more i build barriers, the more i get trapped.
all these time i was trying to convice myself that you were the best liar alive that i have encountered...but your lies were so good...so good i wanted to taste more.
the day you left you me put me in so much agony...i tried to despise you. so much questions were left unanswered. did you ever love me? who am i to you? how you felt for me?
until one day after a real long wait, destiny permitted seeing you once more...i thought the last page of our book will be written and finally be closed. but i was wrong. The way you kissed, the way you held me close to you??? You lied again...waking up the dormant feelings kept within...this time i wanted to fight. to resist your lies once more...but i love you more than i cud resist you.
Everything was reverted...you did it again. the pieces of me that i picked one by one so hard was again scattered. How worse could you be? More questions lined up? it was so endless till one day i realized all these times i already knew the answer...
You lied to me. Used me for you selfish intentions. Put me in vain. Dropped me in agony. Dragged me into shame....I was just a toy you used to play with......
And yet despite everything, why do i still want to hear from you? Will these questions continue to be resolved only by me and not by you who was after all the offender?
You knew least...You have forbidden me to...The day i wanna tell you I love you so didn't even come. You knew nothing how i suffered...
The day we'll meet again...You'll hear no words from me...im tired because you pushed me away...And when that day comes, look at me in the eye. My tears would tell you how much i've been hurt.
but at the back of my mind, i was telling myself these were all lies. all were fantasies being dreamt by a teenage girl who was never hurt and never felt being left behind. i know for a fact i was crazy then. im not even sure if there were regrets. but whenever i refresh those sweet moments i had with you my heart felt coldness...longing for you and wondering will there still be a chance to have you close to me once more.
madness, it is...that i am completely aware of. but through the years i have tried to push you away from my mind heart and my mind...the more i build barriers, the more i get trapped.
all these time i was trying to convice myself that you were the best liar alive that i have encountered...but your lies were so good...so good i wanted to taste more.
the day you left you me put me in so much agony...i tried to despise you. so much questions were left unanswered. did you ever love me? who am i to you? how you felt for me?
until one day after a real long wait, destiny permitted seeing you once more...i thought the last page of our book will be written and finally be closed. but i was wrong. The way you kissed, the way you held me close to you??? You lied again...waking up the dormant feelings kept within...this time i wanted to fight. to resist your lies once more...but i love you more than i cud resist you.
Everything was reverted...you did it again. the pieces of me that i picked one by one so hard was again scattered. How worse could you be? More questions lined up? it was so endless till one day i realized all these times i already knew the answer...
You lied to me. Used me for you selfish intentions. Put me in vain. Dropped me in agony. Dragged me into shame....I was just a toy you used to play with......
And yet despite everything, why do i still want to hear from you? Will these questions continue to be resolved only by me and not by you who was after all the offender?
You knew least...You have forbidden me to...The day i wanna tell you I love you so didn't even come. You knew nothing how i suffered...
The day we'll meet again...You'll hear no words from me...im tired because you pushed me away...And when that day comes, look at me in the eye. My tears would tell you how much i've been hurt.
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