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03-25-09

half day today...thanks it was our turn to continue the implementation paper. this day was fairly light thank goodness. i was able to claim my prc id before lunch break, grabbed the ham and cheese sandwich at dunkin donuts which ive been craving for the past days yey, and i was able to meet ayla after more than a year of not seeing her.

this day is happy, i was able to do stuff that somehow would make me forget the weekend's not so good experience.

we've talked of gossips re- how the people from other wards are doing. it scares me yes, but the thought of it makes me more tired than scared. im still in that state of thinking twice if this is what i really wanted to do. may sound ridiculous but experiencing it first hand would justify it all.

i am plainly not happy as of now. and i dont understand power tripping period. im observing how my friends are doing now thru facebook...most of them (probably all of them) are earning their own money, some, have their own families, etc etc...i dont know but part of me felt envious of the lesser burden they're going through...i feel as if this life i have chosen is the more difficult path when in reality an easier one is waiting for me...whenever i feel this way, i bear in mind that patience is a virtue....problem is, i still dont know if the fruit of all sacrifices would really be as sweet as how i have thought, probably not until i already have it...

the worse is yet to come...

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ampalaya

im still guilty of being mad. i dont know. pero cguro nga dahil may sumthing p ko sa mokong na un. nagagalit ako. at the same time naiisip ko p rin ung lahat ng nangyari. marami p ring tanong sa isip ko kung bakit nangyari lahat ng to. at ngaun kahit mahigit isang taon na parang pakiramdam ko kelan lng un. pero ang laki n ng pinagbago ng lahat...lalo na siya. lalo na sila...naiinis akong isipin na ako nagkakaganito pero siya ano balewala lahat. worse, mukhang masaya na siya. nakakagalit na ako hindi p rin totally ok....ano ba diba. hanggang kelan ko mararamdaman to. pero sa kabila nun palagi ko p rin siyang naiisip. isang malaking kahibangan. galit ako. nasasaktan ako.

tsk

dami kong gusto ikuwento eh last week pa kaso la ako enough time to blog it out. hay and im not feeling well nilalagnat ako kanina kaya tulog lang ako maghapon. cant wait for vacation...la p kong nagagawa nakakainis para akong nakatira ng isang boteng sleeping pills

hui

amf! binasa ko ung luma kong blogs dun sa friendster hahaha harrruuuuu un ung panahon ampalaya/bitter ocampo pa ako. ayyy grabe halatang hurt galore! at bakit parang ang galing ko mag-english dun! hahaha ganun ata pag pira-piraso ang puso naxxxxxxx mukhang soon ganon na naman ulet tatalino na naman ako hahaha punyeta ang sakit ng ulo ko sarap untog!