one thing ive noticed, people whom i got involved with come and go, and come back again. probably for a different reason, that im not sure of. its just that i always give double effort to let go of those people and yet fate draws them back. i never wanted it this way, because it comes contrary to my expectations that as time passes the impact is lessened. sometimes i assess myself whether its my fault, but lately i realized ive been actively putting efforts to move on farther, but unexplainably they just come back. most of the time it brings me heartache. because ive got only one simple wish, that is to find that ONE who wouldnt leave me, who would stay for real, FOR GOOD, and it is frustrating that by coming back they give a constant reminder that still i am left alone. I dont know why of all people, they love to mess up with me when in fact i am not actually allowing them to do so. no matter how i shut up and put on large barriers, im always dragged...its not flattering, rather,it complicates everything while im progressively getting numb. i dont wanna hurt anyone, but that doesnt mean its me who's supposed to carry all the burden....its difficult. somehow at this point i really wanna be with that one who would protect me and save me from all of these. im tired....really tired....of all aspects of my life, this is where i am weakest. maybe because i indulge in giving much, and expecting less, and end up getting nothing from that least i am asking. its really ironic, when what you wish for is not given when in fact its just an inch away, and you keep on hiding on someone who keeps on searching for you....argh i complicate things because i face them one by one. i just cant afford to make a sweet escape, i dont want to leave things unsettled. i dont want the shortcuts because i know it will keep me wondering forever...what if...its unending...
habang nagchichikahan kame ni jaja last night dahil sa mga pangyayaring di ko inaasahan (kinukuwento ko ung mga buraot) naputol ang usap dahil manonood daw siya ng the pursuit of happiness. ayun nakinuod na rin ako. kuwento ni Chris Gardner....hay, nakakalungkot pero talagang na-inspire ako sa movie na to....NAKAKABILIB. ang igsi lng nung movie pero talagang heart warming. pero isa siguro sa na-reflect ko eh ung FOCUS. sobrang focused niya kasi sa goal niya, kung ano ang gusto niya un lang talaga. wala lang, naisip ko lang dapat ganon din ako hehehe. nakakaiyak ung scene na sa banyo sila natulog mag-ama.....hay, nakakalungkot isipin na may mga taong nakakaexperience ng ganon....pero lahat ng hirap nila, talagang nag pay off din naman =) sipag talaga at diskarte...wahehehe apektado daw talaga ako sa movie, di ko kasi napanood yan dati eh hehe =) TRUE STORY siya galing!
Comments