Skip to main content

5-3

whew plakda ako. we had a surgical mission today at singalong. hehe first time nagtuli (late bloomer) eh kasi naman nung na-invite kami last year di nman kme umabot ni vego dahil galing sa swimming.

oh well masaya nman, kakapagod nga lang. pero ang saya kasi mababait ung mga kasama, and ang sarap pa ng food ( thanks kay bam and her family and sa chairman) hehe pero super ang init wah... this has been a long day =) and hopefully next week sasama ulit ako.

well for the nth time naiinis na naman ako sa kanya. shet hirap ala na talaga to, nararamdaman ko na nasa stage of decline na talaga to, tsk tsk and honestly kahit nabubuwisit akong aminin sa sarili ko, nasasaktan at nahihirapan din ako. tagal ko ng tinitiis to, shit talaga, samantalang dati i never even had a good impression on him, pucha hinayaan ko pang magtagal itong drawing na affair na to. shit kasi, bakit pa kailangang magbitiw ng mga ganong salita at pigilan ako na tigilan na to, ang plastik naman kasi, duh ok lang naman kasi talaga, mas nakakabuwisit na mag end up na ako na naman ung naunahan. bakit ba kasi napakatiyaga ko, nakikita ko n nga ung mga flaw nakukuha ko pa ring palampasin.

pero ha habang tumatagal, nakikita ko how rude he is. ah basta, in so many ways annoying na talaga. lalo lang napprove ung impression ko dati na mayabang (uber) pati na rin ang negative impression sa kaniya ng nakakarami. tsk tsk sayang ang chance na binigay ko. putang inang chance naman oh! akalain mo twice nangyari ung chance na yun, eh ang bobo ko pinagtyagaan ko pa rin, kasi akalain mo ba na umabot n ng mahigit isang taon. kahit diyosa ako, pusong tao p rin ko. sino ba namang hindi maaattach nun diba.

ang kinakatakot ko lang, ako ang taong pag nawalan ng gana, WALA na talaga. irreversible. napakatagal bago mangyari un (i.e. pag nasagad to the bones lang talaga ang pasensiya ko) at palapit na siya ng palapit dun.

sinayang lang niya lahat. nakakapagod na. TAENA ibang level sa pagddrawing tong isang to, LINTEK FINE ARTS HA FINE ARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i had a wonderful day and a ruined night!!!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

this holiday season

amf, di ko talaga akalaing magiging kontrobersyal ang kapaskuhan ko! boylets go away! kayo ang gumugulo sa buhay ko! bwahahaha ngarag na ngarag na nga ako sa sobrang daming party at talagang im so broke sa mga panahong to, dagdag pa sa eksena ang mga lalakeng ito! ano ber ano ber ano ber! tama na pagiging mga ekchosero nio, enough na ang mga kemerkemerlu! kasi memorize ko na yan pramis. ang akin lang naman, kung sasaktan lang ako chupi at sumakay n lng sa chubibo, kayong dalawa magbilugan ng ulo....stressed na ko i swear. nananahimik ako dito tapos lapit lapit para lang bulabugin ang diyosang natutulog sa mt. olympus! you've done enough pain....tama na yun. hindi ako nababagay sa mga tagalupang kagaya nio. grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! panira talaga ng pasko oh!

anxious

tomorrow is my final interview. done with the two weeks of observation period. of course the usual, not everyone there seems nice. but i guess wherever i go, jerks are along the way. maybe the only difference is how subtle other jerks could be. again, i am plainly emotionless. i don't want to anticipate anything. no expectations, no whatever. like ike said, this is a roadless map... the past days i took the chance to rest. i started on thinking about future plans, but then, what works for me is living for today. plans are good, but i don't want to keep on dwelling on the future. sudden unexpected changes may ruin it anyways. I'll let God this time. just keeping the faith going :) Uberrimei fidei Of the utmost good faith

9-16

Im missing lots of people. Well i realized ive been too busy that i am missing much in life. I miss d good old days wen life for me was a lot lighter. Wen i dont have to think much and despite being busy, still being able to squeeze in other activities. Its a lot different now. As much as i want to spend some time to escape from the pressures of med world, time wouldnt really permit. I miss d easy life, the genuine laughs and crazy old days of hanging out and not thinking about tomorrow. It pains me coz as time passes by, people around me narrows down. Most already had a big difference in their lives. Oh well i chose the tedious path. And oftentimes its only by prayer and faith that i do to surpass all these. I hope this would end soon. I really wish God would send me an angel to make life a bit easier and happier dan now. I wanna end d misery. The misery of clinging on to a wrong person. The pain of expectations. It makes the load heavier. Maybe its my turn to be happy.